The Shidduch Crisis And Tisha B’Av

How is the Mitzvah to marry an orphan connected to the Three Weeks and Tisha B'Av? Sharona Margolin Halickman discusses.

In the Talmud, Shabbat 31a we read the following: “Rava said: When they escort a person to his final, Heavenly judgment after his death, the Heavenly tribunal says to him: Did you conduct your business transactions faithfully? Did you set aside fixed times for Torah study? Did you engage in procreation (asakta befriah ureviah)? Did you wait in the hope of Messianic salvation? …”

According to the Maharsha it doesn’t say “kiyamta” (did you observe the mitzvah of procreation), rather it says “asakta” (were you involved in procreation) since it is a mitzvah to marry off an orphan.

Even those who, for whatever reason, can’t have children of their own still have the obligation to help find shiduchim (matches) for others in order to bring about more Jewish families who will then be fruitful and multiply.

Just as a couple who is having difficulty conceiving will do whatever it takes in order to try to have a child (whether through fertility drugs, in vitro or adoption etc.), spend as much money as needed and go to the ends of the earth, so too should we go out of our way in the realm of helping people find their basherts (destined matches).

During these three weeks leading up to Tisha B;Av when we cry for the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash (Temple) as well as for other tragedies that occurred throughout Jewish history, we should mourn as well for the houses that were never built since the proper shidduchim were never found .

Remember, whoever makes a bride and groom happy is like one who built a ruined house from the ruins of Jerusalem.

Those who value conducting business in an ethical manner, setting aside time for Torah study and the hope that the Mashiach will come speedily in our day must do what they can to help alleviate the shidduch crisis and help bring about the rebuilding of the Beit HaMikdash.